Lazy

earth heart

I just got home from a 2 ½ hour coffee meeting with my friend Laurel. I walked away feeling very inspired, I didn’t know my batteries were low until our connection powered them up again.

Laurel posed an interesting question to me; why is self-love such a big subject, we came into this world loving ourselves, what happened?

This question lingered within me, on my walk home a possible answer to that question came up;

Because we are a lazy society!

As I thought about it, I realized that we have always had authority figures telling us what to do, and when we don’t do as they say we are reprimanded and told we are not good enough. Over centuries of this we have become complacent, as a whole. Of course, there are many individuals who have gone against societal norms, but in general we have become sheep.

The truth is, we are awesome!! We as a population on this planet have amazing powerful abilities. The way to tap into them may seem like work to us, because of the ‘lazy’ factor. But essentially, if we decide that we want to tap into our awesomeness, we must do some ‘work’. Of course, if we truly have a strong desire, it’s not really work at all. Loving ourselves is an absolute must to make a difference.

Be the LOVE you want to see in this world.

For example: When I spend time with people who love themselves, who are comfortable in their own skin, I feel it and my being interprets that as a reflection of me. I walk away feeling good about myself, because I was in the energy of ‘feeling good’. If I am around someone who doesn’t like themselves or feels badly in that moment and I am not present to how I am feeling, I may walk away feeling badly about myself.

The work is:  stop letting our minds take over and boss us around, just as authority figures have done. To make a difference we must begin to pay attention to what’s going on inside of us. Looking within is the only place we will find answers, the only place we will find peace of mind and love. We will not find self worth outside of ourselves, no one or no thing can guide us to the truth of who we really are. When we seek outside of ourselves for love its temporary, it’s finite. When we look inside of ourselves that is where we tap into infinity.

Our souls always remember the eternalness of our existence.

Do you know what you think about most of the time? Are you aware that there are thoughts that are repeated constantly, like a ferris wheel going around and around until we have pain or strong emotion?

It’s time to take the wheel of our car and start to steer ourselves. We do that by learning about ourselves, by going within. Some call it; contemplation and mindfulness. Paying attention to what we think without judgement, observe the patterns, again without judgement. By doing this we begin to see why we have created the life that we have. We begin to see that our thoughts are from old beliefs that just are not true.

Bringing ourselves into this moment, the place of our true essence can reveal to us what has been controlling us all this time. We can take the wheel and decide what we want to think, we can decide to tap into our awesomeness which is our innate divinity.

Like Laurel said: we were born loving ourselves. I will take it further and say we were born pure love!

This is not to say that we are wrong or bad because we forgot that, we just lost our way and at this crazy challenging time we are being literally forced to remember that! Which is very exciting to me. There are now authority figures in this world that are showing us very plainly that we have been sheep and that authority figures are no longer the boss of us. We are seeing people act like absolute idiots to reflect to us our inner idiotic side. At the same time, we have authority figures that are reflecting the loving, reverent, respectful side of us. Yes, we do need the contrast to wake us up. Are we paying attention?

The change starts from within.

I propose we embrace our laziness, love it like it’s our inner child and say: I love you, thank-you, it’s time to expand, it’s time I become the boss of me. I want to shine like a star, twinkling brightly on whoever looks upon me.

Let’s be mindful of our thoughts, we can take time to BE with our inner beings, and hey sometimes that does mean sitting on the couch and watching a movie, but the difference is, we can  do it consciously, we do it because we love ourselves, not because we feel overwhelmed by the world and want to escape. When we feel love for ourselves, we don’t want to escape and we naturally emanate love.

When we love, our inner being we naturally expand our Sacred Vibration.

Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things.  Meaning lies in us.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Two Weeks with Dad

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After 22 years, I was finally able to spend time with my father in my favorite place to live, Vancouver. It was necessary for me to raise my children in Ontario. But my longing for Vancouver and my father never left me.

I lived in Vancouver from age 26 to 33 with my father living close by. We spent lots of time together and apart. But for me, having him close was amazing. My time living in Vancouver was the most challenging time and the most exciting. No matter what occurred I went for a walk to the ocean and everything shifted, almost instantly. There is something about the mountains and the ocean that feels like home to me. Energetically the city is different, it’s not something I can fully explain, but it is real for me, after 22 years it was still the same.

Spending every day for two weeks with Burt was an enlightening experience. To be in the presence of someone who loved me unconditionally, who gave me his full attention, appreciation and was completely present and fully open with me, this was a very new experience for me.

I see now as I look back after 2 weeks of being home, I see that being in his presence, full presence was like being my highest self all the time. The comfort I felt to be myself was so refreshing, I can see that I haven’t given myself permission to be myself all the time. Yes, it was easy with Burt, to be me, to see my beautiful and amazing refection in his eyes, but now it’s time for me to remember the feeling of ‘me’ and be it no matter what is happening ‘out-side’ of me. He didn’t ‘do’ anything, he was simply being and it was that beingness that allowed me to BE as well. As I write I find there are no words really.

In this moment, I imagine the feelings I felt in his presence, I felt excitement, peace, joy, love, stillness, clarity and most of all LOVE. As I look at the words to describe my feelings, they in essence are all LOVE.  But if I said “my father made me feel loved” the response from most people would say; of course, he is your father, he loves you. But no, it’s so much more than that.

I spend time with a Guru in the late 80’s, her name is Gurumayi Chidvilasanda, she used to say; It’s easy here at the Ashram, now go out into the world and be it out there…I’m paraphrasing, but you get the idea. The feeling I got from Gurumayi, wasn’t always pleasant, because whatever I was feeling was amplified, if I was angry, I couldn’t hold it in like I used to think I could do, if I was sad, same thing and so on. Her presence, her alignment with the creator/life force/source/god, created a force so powerful that one could not escape it. That’s the way I felt with Burt. On the outside, he was just Burt, but the feeling that swirled around and through me was, were ineffable. All I can say to this is I felt ‘allowed’ to be me and I love that me in his presence.

One of the many things I learned is that being present, or aligning with spirit/higher self/source/great mystery/god is an expanded state, our natural state. So, when we are ‘there’ we are everywhere and with everyone. We don’t judge ourselves, or others. We love ourselves fully and love other’s too. We see god in everything. Swami Muktananda, Gurumayi’s Guru, said; ‘God dwells in you as you’.  When I see that statement again, I see that  it truly says it all. We as humans on this planet for the most part, feel that ‘god’ is this grand thing, beyond our grasp, when in actuality, we are God/Life Force/Source. The intelligence of life, the flow of nature and the universe; we are part of it all.

This human experience is simply that, the experience we came to have. I have written about this before and most likely will write about it again and again. Because as I grow into this knowing more and more, I feel more excited to share it!

When I was very young my father came home to an empty apartment, no wife, no kids and no stuff. All his life at the time was gone, my mother left him. As you can imagine it was devastating for him. But knowing this today, I can see that if she had not left him, he would not be the amazing man he is today. He has helped so many people all over the world and he dedicates his life to doing just that. Because as he discovers more about the truth, he feels compelled to share it.

After my mother left my father he was later told to stay away. As a young girl, I was very confused and so, so sad. A new ‘father’ came into my life and he took my virginity away at the age of 9. While this was happening, I had my first spiritual experience, I left my body and danced with God. I was completely removed from the situation while it was happening. I knew that this wasn’t right, but somehow I also knew, it was just an experience. I know that sounds weird, but when I go back to that time I feel the truth in that. Why did this happen to a little girl? Why is not a question I want to ask here. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to be in my head at all. When I go in my heart, I realize that who I am today is a summation of all my experiences, this intelligent universe and my soul created whatever it took for me to become me today. So, would I change anything? NO!! I have learned over the years that I really don’t know anything; my limited mind could never fathom the incredible magnificence of this life.

At 17 years of age I left home, and began the journey of self discovery, with my beautiful mother’s blessing. She somehow knew that is what I needed. She told me when I was young that I was a free spirit and I took that to heart. A few years later I met my father again. What an amazing experience. I discovered we are so alike, passions,  body and mannerisms. He opened a whole new world to me. Yoga, meditation, A Course In Miracles, healthy eating, the power of the mind and so much more. After a few years, I discovered that in the early 80’s there wasn’t much out there as far as spirituality goes, so I felt a bit lost. As the free spirit that I was I explored other parts of life; sex, drugs and rock & roll. When the universe thought that that was enough, or my soul decided it was enough, I had a serious car accident, there were 5 people in the car, the car flipped over in Banff on black ice. I was the only one hurt badly, both my scapulae were fractured and my lung punctured. I remember that as I sit in the snow after climbing out of the car the pain was so intense and I couldn’t breathe at first. Then I could and there was no more pain.  I realized now that I died. I don’t know for how long, but I remember the feeling. After all these years I am only talking about this lately because now I have a point of reference. The feeling I felt was God. Quiet like I have never ‘heard’ before. I was aware at first of the sounds around me, but they seemed so far away, even though it was all around me. Then all sound disappeared, as I type this I am feeling it again, how do I describe a feeling of bliss? A feeling I can call upon anytime I want. When I meditate I am there again. When I remember it, I am there again. No body, no pain, no suffering, no sadness, no fear, no nothing…..but stillness, peace and I guess I can describe it as LOVE, which is my favorite word for God. Then a face appeared of a man who had dark skin, he spoke to me. He told me I was dying, and that I had a decision to make, he didn’t tell me what to do, he just reminded me I had a choice.

After that experience my whole life changed. I met a woman who became a dear friend and she introduced me to Gurumayi Chidvilasanda and chanting. As I learned more about this Guru, I learned her Guru was Swami Muktanada, as I looked at his face in a photograph, I realized I knew him already, he was the man who came to me when I died.

Back on the spiritual path I went. Did I ever leave? I don’t think so, I believe that absolutely every experience is given to us so we may fulfill our destiny. What is my destiny? Heck, I don’t know. I just know when I write or talk about what I am learning, I feel fulfilled. Is that my destiny? I don’t need to put labels on anything, well that is what I am learning. I do still judge, but I am okay with that, I love that about my humanness, and somehow that acceptance of myself shifts the judgement.

Seven years after my car accident I met the man who would be my husband and father of my first child. He lived in Ontario, my mother and sister too. So, I moved back to Ontario, leaving my beloved father  and my cherished city.

Our two weeks together has helped me grow so much, and made our bond stronger than ever. We made videos to share with others the things we talked about, things we have learned along the way and that we would love for others to explore themselves.

I do sometimes, have that longing I had when I was a kid, to have my Daddy back. But now I can talk to that longing and say, “I am exactly where I am supposed to be, because if I wasn’t meant to be here, I wouldn’t be. The human mind will try to justify and bring me back to that sad longing, but it isn’t sad for me any more. It’s uplifting and inspirational. It’s heart expanding and an amazing reminder that we are not apart, our spirit will always be connected.

 

 

 

Broken Heart, Open Heart

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It’s all perspective.

Falling in love last year after 11 years alone was an amazing experience. I didn’t know I had the capacity to love so much.  My heart just kept on opening, and each time I was with him I couldn’t believe that I loved him even more.

Now my heart is broken, I literally have a physical pain in my chest.  I find that so interesting.  As I contemplated this sensation, I realized that my heart was open, I mean REALLY open.  This is wonderful! Yes, I still grieve the loss of the relationship, however what I am grieving is the potential of what I thought it could be.

What I didn’t realize is that what actually happened is I learned to love again. I learned I can love more than I ever thought possible.  So I allow the grief, in gratitude of the amazing love I experienced. I feel more connected to me, I feel more aligned with God, and I feel like a better person because of it.

There was a time in my life, when I got hurt, I closed off and it created havoc and disease in my life. It hurt so much I didn’t want to experience pain again. Now I don’t exactly welcome the hurt, but I see it so differently. I see it as the whole reason I am here in this human suit, to love as much as possible, all the time.

I am here to love.  Period. I am the love I want to see in the world. I completely believe what the amazing John Lennon said: “All you need is love”.  I will take it further to say, all we ARE is love….all we are is love!

Because of this devastating heartbreak, I am more open than I ever was, and I am actually excited for what the future holds. Now I know that the more I love, the more I can love!!

BE the love you want to see in the world

love workshop

Love IS….

It’s always present

It’s unlimited, eternal & infinite

Love lies within

When we love ourselves with no rules or conditions- purely and openly, we will be able love all of life.

Life is LOVE

When we appreciate everything in our lives, we can love.

Appreciation opens up the gates of love.

When I see you in the light of appreciation, my heart opens and divine love expands.

Looking with the eyes of love we see the beauty we have come here to experience.

Appreciation is the experience of love and love is the experience of the essence of you.

Love IS the quintessential experience of life. When we are able to open up to let the love flow we are truly living.

As we see life with love we expand our view, we are able to see beyond the veil that has been blurring our view for so long.

Allow the love within to clear the fog, to shed the light in your vision of this magnificent life.

As you look into the world with love, you see with clarity what life was meant to be; fully experienced with all its diversity. As you see love all around, those around you will also experience love. As your ability to love grows so does the light in the world.

 

In Divine Love;

Debra

 

Love

love

Over the years as I grow more and more into loving myself, I have noticed that the word ‘love’ is very watered down these days. At the same time it’s a great thing to hear so many people saying ‘I love you’ to each other, it’s amazing actually.

LOVE is a feeling, a concept, a gift, a gesture, all powerful, transformational, it’s divine~ LOVE is the force of all life. Remembering that one fact gives me a sense of peace.

If love is the driving force, then everything is as it should be right? I am love, you are love, the trees are love and so on. So why don’t we feel this love all the time?

Just because we don’t feel it doesn’t mean it’s not there it simply means we don’t feel it.  Awareness is the key. When we tune into the universal flow of life we feel the driving force of love.

Being a teacher of Reiki for over a decade has taught me that love is ever present, all I have to do is tune in to it. We also must remember the fundamental fact that we are part of this driving force of the universe, so if we don’t feel love, we are the ones separating ourselves from the divine energy. We really do have the power to turn it on and off.

Loving one’s self is about awareness, this is how we feel the flow of this amazing life. Being aware is about being present; paying attention to this moment brings us to the divine flow of life/LOVE.

 

 

 

The Gift of NOW

“Perpetual Consciousness is closer than the breath, closer than the heartbeat-it underlies and permeates everything, everywhere, at all times. “ By MSI from the book: First Thunder, An Adventure of Discovery

 Eron

As I look at the connection of all things, I see the magical beauty in this universe. So often we hear the words, Oneness, unity, connectedness. But do we truly know what that implies? It actually means absolutely everything, everything…all things are ONE. This is one of those things that the mind/ego cannot comprehend. Through meditation however, through sitting in the heart, this kind of perspective feels natural and real.

So, if absolutely everything is connected it doesn’t mean that ‘well yes, I see how this and this is connected but that can’t be, it’s too horrible’. This is a concept that isn’t clarified totally by thought, it is felt through beingness and heart centred thought, meaning; allowing the heart to show us how it is. This is not in words, it is truly ineffable. But I am giving it a good shot here to explain even a little part of this truth I have come to experience. If ‘it’s too horrible’ to us then we are judging, we are resisting what is. It’s so interesting when looked at energetically; resisting the NOW is simply resisting period. In resistance our energy field is contracted and our ‘vision’ impaired. In the present moment our energy is expanded and all possibilities are in our view. In our expanded state we can see how interwoven every little thing is. So many of the people that come to me for sessions and classes express their excitement as they relay their awareness of all the synchronicities they have discovered in their life. That is just the beginning! The more aware we become the more we want to stay present because this sense of now feels like home and so blissful no matter what is happening. Yup, no matter what! Even in a tragic moment, presence brings us clarity and peace. Accepting what is, is empowering. We can still have emotion in the moment, but it’s a flow rather than a resistance. As a matter of fact the ‘tragic’ situation, isn’t tragic, it simply is what is.

I can understand how this perspective can feel too ‘out there’ but with mindfulness practices and meditation, the stillness shows us the essence of life that cannot be comprehended intellectually. It is only through embracing our true nature can we see beyond the human concepts and enjoy this life the way we are meant to.